Hollywood Inside & Out November 14, 2013

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“I was so young.  It made me go back in the closet because I was so overwhelmed at 26 or 27.  I didn’t want the responsibility, I didn’t know how to handle the responsibility of speaking for the gay community.  I always felt like I owed them a huge apology for coming out too late.” – Sean Hayes discusses how the success of “Will & Grace” made him more private about his personal life.  I can’t speak for the entire gay community, but giving Linda Lavin more to do in “Sean Saves The World” will make us forgive almost anything.

I recently read an article with a provocative headline: “Does It Matter That Ronan Farrow Is Gay?”  I holly_stripguess it would matter if you were sleeping with him.  And I suppose it might matter to Frank Sinatra if he were alive.  But does it matter to anyone else?  I posed the question to a number of people, who overwhelmingly responded, “Who is Ronan Farrow?”  Well, he is newsworthy since he’ll soon be hosting a show on MSNBC (which I am sure begs the question, “What is MSNBC?”).  After the recent “Vanity Fair” feature on his look-alike mom, Mia Farrow, a bit of public attention was expected.  In a “New York Times” profile, his personal life was dispatched with a cryptic statement that Ronan makes the rounds socially, “often appearing at political fetes with Jon Lovett, a former Obama speechwriter”.  Next thing you know, he’ll be referred to as a confirmed bachelor, and Lovett his longtime companion.  What is unclear is if this shroud of secrecy was an edict from Ronan’s camp.  Frankly, I don’t care if he’s gay or if he comes out.  But I must remember, if ever I do meet him, not to call him Satchel.

At roughly the same time, a number of stories on Gawker targeted Fox News anchor Shepard Smith.  First was an account about his boorish behavior to a bar waitress seven months earlier; he allegedly screamed, “Get my fucking drink” and jostled her elbow.  Buried in that story was the waitress’ casual mention that Smith was with a muscular 6-foot-2, 30-something white male who several bar employees identified as his boyfriend (the pair had reportedly been seen holding hands under the table).  Days later, Gawker got more specific – about a year ago, Smith began dating a 26-year-old male production assistant from Fox News, who is now an associate producer at Fox Business Network – a move said to have been facilitated by Smith to avoid the appearance of impropriety.  The aforementioned waitress and other co-workers confirmed this by saying, “Yes, that’s Shepard’s boyfriend”.

This led to a “New York Times” article called “Gawker Kicks Open the Closet, but Its Disclosure Barely Reverberates”.  The gist was that while Gawker may have hoped that a Fox News anchor being gay would cause some hubbub, no one cared.  Even the revelation that he’s dating an underling half his age generated little interest.  Then Michelangelo Signorile wrote an article for the “Huffington Post” called “Why It’s Wrong to Say It’s Wrong to Say Shepard Smith Is Gay”.  I love Mikey and I get what he’s saying – that when the press omits saying someone is gay, they’re perpetuating the belief that being gay is something to hide.  And I think that’s a valid point in a story about someone’s sex life.  But tossed into a report about a waitress in a bar does seem slightly gratuitous and rather suspect.  I hasten to add that I’d say the same thing if this were a story about a heterosexual man.  If someone wrote that a straight male comedian was acting like a dick to his waitress while drinking with a gal who charges by the hour, I’d cry foul.  Being out with a hooker has nothing to do with the story.  Plus, who am I to disparage dating hookers?  So, while I won’t name Shep’s alleged beau, I’ll share photos of him on BillyMasters.com.

One rarely speaks of Corey Feldman these days.  But he’s trying to change that.  In his memoir “Coreyography” (which I must admit is a pretty fabulous title), he discusses being molested by quite a sizeable group of male movers and shakers in Hollywood.  According to Feldman, he and Corey Haim were being banged like a pair of human piñatas.  He claims that Haim was raped at the age of 11 when a guy explained that it was perfectly normal in showbiz for older guys and younger guys to have sex.  With that persuasive argument, Haim allegedly allowed himself to be sodomized between two trailers.  Haim then said to Feldman, “So, I guess we should play around like that, too?”  Feldman claims this horrified him, but then discusses similar encounters with other guys.  I’m so intrigued, I might actually buy “Coreyography”, because something tells me no one is sending me a review copy!

This kinda needs to our “Ask Billy” question.  Ryan in Salt Lake City asks: “I heard there’s an Olympian with a huge penis who has posted pics online.  Do you know who he is?”

You need to be more specific – these days, I don’t believe you even qualify for the Olympics without two nude selfies and a sex tape.  But a bit of buzz surfaced last week about pole-vaulter Andrew Zollner.  You may recall him causing a kerfuffle during the last Olympics because his sizeable pole could be seen through his Lycra shorts.  For whatever reason (perhaps pride) he allegedly took some photos of his fantastic phallus unsheathed and aroused.  I’d say he’s certainly going for the gold – judging from the photos you can find on BillyMasters.com.

When a pole-vaulter is showing off his javelin, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  It makes sense since Zollner has competed in the decathlon.  Check him out on www.BillyMasters.com, the site that proves ten is his lucky number.  If you’d like to get lucky, send your queries along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Shepard Smith hooks up with Ronan Farrow!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.