Hollywood Inside & Out Feb 6, 2014

hollywood_banner“My son is being raised by two gay men.  A lot of people don’t know that.  Evan is at home in Chicago and I’ve had two gay men raising him.  And they are the most wonderful men and I couldn’t be more proud for him to see that.” - Jenny McCarthy tells the world about what great surrogate parents her gay friends are to her son in Chicago when she’s filming “The View” in NYC.

I used to have a fantasy that I’d show up to one of my high school reunions on the arm of a famous fella.  In most of these fantasies, that person was Christopher Atkins – clearly this is an hollywood_stripold fantasy, and even back then I had the wherewithal to not aim too high.  Over the years, I’ve met millions of famous folk – but I’ve never bumped into Christopher Atkins.  So I was kinda shocked (and somewhat titillated) when I spied Atkins the day after the Golden Globes an ALS benefit at the Pasadena Playhouse.  While I refrained from sharing my fantasy (although I suspect he’d be up for it if the price was right), I did get a photo with him.  I can add this to my snaps from the day before with Kevin Bacon and Rob Lowe at the Golden Globes  And thus, my survey of ’80s sex symbols comes to a close, unless I run into Matt Dillon at the grocery store.

You wanna get my attention?  Write a story about a hot boy being condemned for having sex online, throw in an inaccurate headline, and I’m hooked.  I don’t know who published this piece, but the headline said, “Students rally around 18-year-old Florida high schooler failed for doing gay porn”.  This article further explained that once knowledge of the boy’s porn activities reached the school administrators, he was suspended, “causing him to fail his high school diploma”.  Is it possible to fail one’s diploma?  You may fail a class, thus not receiving a diploma.  But, of course, I’m splitting hairs.  Let’s get to the meat (so to speak) of the story.

Since the lad has identified himself, I feel completely comfortable sharing his deets with you.  Robert Marucci is a senior at Cocoa High School.  He claims to have started doing porn to help support his family.  He started making videos in September online under the name “Noel II” – he wasn’t even the First Noel!  Some students found out and, as you’d expect, some of them teased and and bullied him.  When the school administration got wind of the situation, Marucci was expelled for “unspecified conduct violations”.  If there was bullying, it paled in comparison to the outcry upon his expulsion.  A large percentage of students staged a protest – both at the school and on their Facebook profiles.  The school explained that they had to investigate the situation and were now happy – virtually giddy – to welcome Robert back to school.

It might sound like all’s well that ends well, but that’s never enough for moi.  I had to do my own full investigation.  Of the five videos of Robert/Noel II, I’ve noticed a trend.  First, they are all condom free.  And he shows amazing versatility – he’ll get f–ked lying on his back, lying on his stomach, sitting on the d–k, and on at least one occasion, by more than one man.  While I commend his mom for standing by him and telling reporters, “I’m proud of my son”, has she seen the videos?  Is she really proud of him?  OK, he looks good (far better out of clothes than in), but is no one teaching safe sex anymore?  Is it really not a big deal?  Troublesome.

Less troublesome (but still upsetting) is the situation over at Lifetime.  Allegedly, the network providing television for women (and gay men) will not be asking the Charmed One to return as host of “Project Runway: All-Stars”.  While Alyssa Milano’s uncomfortable and stilted delivery was widely acknowledged, there are rumblings that she was even more difficult behind the scenes – which is surprising because I’ve always found her to be an absolute delight.  I’ll have to get an unbiased opinion and ring up Shannen Doherty.

Our “Ask Billy” question this week comes from Victor in Mississippi: “Have you been watching this season of ‘Splash!’ from the UK?  Who is Dan Osborne?  He’s GORGEOUS!  They say he’s a reality star, but I’ve never heard of him.  He looked like he was really packed into that leopard Speedo – even Tom Daley was staring at it!”

Ah, yes, “Splash!” – the UK show that spawned a dreadful domestic edition.  Of course, we didn’t have the lovely Tom Daley coaching the “stars”.  And therein lies the other difference – the Brits get a gorgeous reality star, we got Louie Anderson.  Dan Osborne is on “The Only Way Is Essex”, a UK show termed as “an award-winning scripted reality show” – which means it’s like most reality shows here that don’t admit to being scripted (it’s often compared to “Jersey Shore” and “The Hills”).  Dan is a 6’5″, 22-year-old model (lots of undie campaigns) and friends with most of the people on his reality show.  I guess he’s like The Situation, but with a three digit IQ!  And, yes, he’s quite gorgeous.  Straight, has a kid with his ex-girlfriend, loves gay people.  When asked about the leopard Speedo, he said, “I didn’t choose them trunks, no.  At first I was like, ‘No way, that’s not happening.  And in the end, I ended up wearing them.  After ‘Splash!’, I’m keeping them.  I’m going to wear them on my next holiday – I’m taking them to Dubai with me.”  Right there you see yet another difference – would Sitch know where Dubai is?  If you think Dan looked hot in his Speedo, you should see him out of them – as we’ll show you on BillyMasters.com.

When Gunn is showing Milano who’s the boss, it’s definitely time for me to end yet another column.  For all your gossip needs, check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that knows where to find the boys and the booze.  If you have a question, dash it off to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Christopher Atkins and I attend my 25th high school reunion.  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.