Hollywood Inside & Out April 3, 2014

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“She’s a choreographer, she’s not a director.  I’m sorry, but there’s a difference….I love Susan and I love her work, but I resent choreographers-turned-directors and NOT directing.”
– Patti LuPone shares her opinion on Susan Stroman, “director” of the upcoming “Bullets Over Broadway”.  This may also explain why Patti isn’t playing Helen Sinclair!

The big story this week is the divorce of Johnny Weir from hubby Victor Voronov. Only weeks holly_filmago, he was sitting in a New Jersey courtroom presenting a united front with hubby Victor Voronov against charges of domestic biting (the charges were dropped).  Turns out Weir had been doing some fancy legal footwork behind Voronov’s back.  Days ago, Victor Tweeted: “It’s true: I am only now finding out that my husband @johnnygweir filed for divorce from me months ago.”  Needless to say, this ain’t gonna be an amicable split.  Voronov’s reps state: “Victor was a highly-educated person, a lawyer and willfully gave up his career at the request of Johnny to devote himself to Johnny as a traditional spouse often does.”

Of course, there are two sides to every story.  Sometimes three.  In an e-mail Weir sent to Voronov, it seems that Johnny was less-than-faithful and Victor retaliated in a particularly hurtful way.  Weir wrote: “If you decide to wreck things, please wreck cheaper things than Birkins.  The ‘F–k You’ on the Birkin is kinda cool, though, you artist.  I know you don’t care about how I’ll survive if you divorce me, but please leave my Birkin bags, Celine bags and Chanel bags alone.”  What drama!  That’s what we wanted to see on “The A-List”!  What a missed opportunity.  But Weir is keeping a sense of humor about the situation.  He claims the worst thing Victor could do “would be to post naked photos that we have between each other.  And I look flawless.”  One man’s opinion…

Thank God we have a positive gay love story to cleanse the palate.  It’s been a while since we’ve talked about Danny Pintauro.  I think the last story I ran was when he announced his foray into selling Tupperware in Las Vegas.  Apparently he not only found a new career, he also found love.  In April, he announced his engagement to boyfriend Wil Tabares.  The couple now says that the wedding is imminent.  “The BIG DAY is coming soon!  I mean like, REAL SOON!  Dan and I are totally excited and can’t wait to…seal the deal.”  Congrats, boys.

Another couple is reuniting, and it feels so good.  Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin will once again team up for a new series on Netflix.  “Grace and Frankie” will be a half-hour comedy about sworn enemies whose husbands fall in love with each other!  How these two ex-wives deal with this will inevitably lead to madcap mayhem.  The series has received a 13-episode order and is set to shoot later this year.

Let’s turn our attention to another diva – the divine Patti LuPone.  She appeared at the Parker Playhouse in Fort Lauderdale under the aegis of producer Mark Cortale alongside the irrepressible Seth Rudetsky.  This was similar to the shows they’ve done elsewhere.  Seth interviews Patti and makes her sing whatever he wants.  She doesn’t know the questions or the songs.  In fact, sometimes Seth doesn’t even know the songs – such as when he asked Patti what she used to sing for auditions when she was starting out.  She chided him by saying, “You know what my audition song was.”  He said, “I don’t remember your life!”  Patti turned to the audience and quipped, “Don’t you think he should think about it before I get up here?”  She reminded him the song was “Don’t Rain on My Parade” and launched into it (once he found the music) as if Mama Rose were playing Fanny Brice.  Fantastic!  If anything, Patti’s voice gets stronger, richer, and more dramatically incisive at a time when most of our divas are in deep vocal decline.  And I’ll prove it by posting it (along with the quote about Susan Stroman) on BillyMasters.com.

Joe Manganiello seems unable to leave stripping behind.  The sexy “True Blood” star did quite a bit of research for the role of Big Dick Richie in “Magic Mike”, including talking to a number of real-life strippers at Dallas’ notorious strip club, “La Bare”.  He says, “People would walk out of ‘Magic Mike’ saying, ‘I loved it but I wish there was more of the guys.  I wish I knew more about them, where they live, who they go out with, what their lives are like.’  So I knew there was a lot left on the table.”  He put his money where his mouth ought to be, hired a crew, went to Dallas, and began making the documentary about these real-life strippers.  The flick was very popular at Slamdance, and Manganiello signed a distribution deal with Main Street Films for mid-six figures.  Look for “La Bare: The True Story Behind The Magic” to hit art houses sometime this summer.

Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Gary in Austin: “I read that Jake Gyllenhaal was filming a nude scene and photos are circulating.  What is the movie and do you think you could track down the photos?”

I’m almost insulted – insulted that you would think I didn’t already have the photos!  The film in question is called “Everest”, and it’s about climbing Mount Everest.  Now why people climbing a mountain covered in snow would be running around naked is anyone’s guess – maybe it’s a dream sequence.  It certainly would be a dream come true for me after being disappointed by Jake one too many times.  These photos are fascinating not only for what they show, but what they don’t.  Sure, Jake is almost completely nude.  But he is wearing what is known in the business as a “c-ck sock” over his nether regions.  But unlike most of these devices, this one seems larger than usual.  In fact, it appears to be more of a flap attached with some flesh-colored adhesive tape.  Oh, and the flap is black.  Strangely, the photos seem to have been disappearing from the web.  Except for the ones on BillyMasters.com.

When we’re inching closer to a “9 to 5″ reunion courtesy of Netflix, it’s definitely time to end yet another column.  Would it kill Jane and Lily to call Dolly?  Surely I can picture her being married to someone who ended up being gay.  Heck, the tabloids run that story with alarming regularity!  Of course, you don’t need the tabloids to keep tabs on your favorite celebs.  Simply check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that delivers 24/7.  If you have a question for me, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Logo produces a made-for-TV movie about Johnny Weir’s domestic struggles starring Danny Pintauro!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.