Hey Woody!
When I was in my 20s I liked guys in their 20s. When I was in my 30s I liked guys in their 20s. And now that I’m in my 40s, guess what I like?
I can still pick up younger guys and get away with it because I look young, I lie about my age and most importantly, I go to bars with bad lighting. Don’t laugh; it works.
But here’s the thing, Woody. I don’t want to be in my 50s and 60s and still go after the twenty somethings. It just seems like a dead-end. Besides, I think my conscience is catching up with my cruising.
What can I do to shift my desire to older guys? Do you think it’s possible to change the object of your sexual desires? Or am I doomed to be a lecherous old man?
— Afraid of the future
Dear Afraid:
I feel your pain. You’re not experiencing anything most guys in their forties don’t. Straight or gay, by the way. When was the last time you saw a straight guy pant when Madeleine Albright walked by?
Personally, I don’t think you can stop being attracted to whom you’re attracted to. If that were so a lot of us would just “choose” to be straight. If you didn’t get to vote on what gender you’re attracted to, what makes you think you get to vote on which kinds of people within that gender you’re attracted to?
Besides, why should you give up sex with twentysomethings if all it takes is telling them something they want to hear?
Listen, truth and sobriety are over-rated when it comes to d–k. I say lie until lying doesn’t work anymore. And believe me, you’ll know when it stops working because you’ll blurt out laughing before the twentysomething does.
The problem with lying is its bankrupt premise—that there’s something wrong with being 40+. There isn’t. That’s why the long-term answer is to be honest about your age. There are lots of 20 somethings that want 40 somethings. Draw them to you with the qualities they seek: confidence, honesty, experience and courage.
Men over 40 are beautiful; they’re just not beautiful in the way men under 40 are. For example, their abs may not be as tight, but they’re way better in bed. And more importantly, they pick up the dinner check. What’s not to like?
Just because you’re attracted to twentysomethings doesn’t mean you can’t learn to be attracted to men in their 40s. You don’t have to give up one for the other. Be attracted to both; you’ll get more BANG for your buck.
Cultivate a desire for men your own age. Pay attention to what you find attractive in them and build from there. It’s possible to attach desire to a man’s character not just to his body.
