Need Wood?


Need Wood: Is Woody a One-Wood Man?

Hey Woody! You’ve gotten a lot of flak from people about your position on monogamy. Reading you week to week, it’s actually kinda hard to pin you down. Sometimes you defend it, sometimes you attack it. Are you waffling on us? — Unsure myself Dear Unsure: Monogamy is either a necessary ingredient for couples to […]


Need Wood: Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap!

Hey Woody! When we first started dating my boyfriend admitted he cheated on all three of his ex-lovers. He said he changed his ways, and that he wanted a committed life partner. He’s cheated on me a few times throughout our three-year relationship.  Each time we talked about it and he swore it would never […]


Need Wood: A Major Breach in Kissing Etiquette

Hey Woody! I’m dating Mr. Right, except he turns into Mr. Fright when he kisses. It’s like he’s sweeping for land mines with his tongue. I give him tongue too but it’s more of a flanking maneuver to stop the onslaught. How can I call a truce to our tongue wars and teach him how […]


Need Wood: Are Things Supposed to Go…in There?

Hey Woody! My boyfriend has gotten into catheters so much he can now bury his pinky down his shaft. Am I dating a masochist? Do you think this type of “extreme sex” is dangerous? — Re-thinking Him Dear Re-thinking: You have a boyfriend who gets off by sticking a soft plastic tube into his d–k […]


Need Wood: Is This a “Criminal Minds” Episode?

Hey Woody! One day I came home early and snuck upstairs hoping to catch my boyfriend beating off to internet p-rn (he’s a freak about it). I tiptoe in but he hears me before I reached the computer screen and he goes berserk, yelling and screaming at me to leave the room. That’s when I […]


Need Wood: Call Febreeze! There’s a Noseblindness Emergency!

Hey Woody! I love my new boyfriend but his obsession with me kinda scares me. He loves my c-m on his chest so much he won’t shower before work and I swear you can smell it on him. Is this a sign that it’s going to get worse? How can I get him to wash […]


Need Wood: Good Girls Don’t on the First Flight

Hey Woody! I keep meeting these guys that sexually tease me and then at the last minute they play Sister Mary Magdalene and claim they’re “just not that kind of girl.” Last month I met some flight attendant on the way home from a business trip and he agreed to spend the next weekend with […]


Need Wood: When Partying with Tina Goes Wrong

Hey Woody! I’m totally into the drug scene but I have to admit things are starting to get a little out of hand. One of my friends actually died from a crystal addiction and several others landed in the ER. I’m in control when I do drugs and I try to get my friends to […]


Need Wood: Sealed with a Kiss

Hey Woody! I’ve been told I’m a great kisser but I couldn’t tell you why—I just do whatever comes naturally. I mean, I don’t say to myself things like ‘okay, dart your tongue in three times, back off and finish with a lick over his teeth.” Still, I’m wondering, if I wanted to get even […]


Need Wood: There’s Got to be a Morning After…

Hey Woody! Do you think I should use a “morning after” prophylactic when I get drunk and end up barebacking with a poz guy? — Positive or negative, it’s beef Dear Beef: Yes. The medical consensus is that if you know you’ve just had unsafe sex with an HIV infected person, you should go on […]


Need Wood: Just Say No…Right

Hey Woody! After 30 hours with no sleep, which included two nights of dancing, drinking, using Ecstasy and “G”, someone slipped me an overdose of God knows what. In about an hour I was so messed up I couldn’t complete a sentence. Before long I was vomiting. But not just vomiting, I mean VOMITTING. As […]


Need Wood: Is March Kink Awareness Month?

Hey Woody! I liked your answer to the guy who j-rks off to the horrible pictures on –that his fantasies are horrible, but that he probably isn’t. You recommended “the couch.”  Yes, but which couch?  Most therapists aren’t prepared, emotionally or conceptually to help such a person.  He should hunt for those few who […]


Need Wood: Over the OD’s!

  Hey Woody! I’m an emergency medical services worker (EMS) who’s just about had it with the gay drug culture. EMS workers hate “OD” calls (Overdose) because it’s always potentially a life-or-death run. Sort of like an “MI” call (Myocardial Infarction, a.k.a. heart attack), only worse because at least the heart attack victims didn’t bring […]


Need Wood: Hey, Nice Feet!

Hey Woody! Some dude approached a friend with the opening line, “Hey, you’ve got cute feet” and handed him a card inviting him to a private foot fetish party.  I’m not feeling left out, just curious:  What makes for cute feet? Any guidance would be much appreciated. —   Not your sole admirer Dear Not: What […]


Need Wood: It’s Not Me…It’s You!

Hey Woody! I’m a 23-year-old GWM — conventionally cute, a little shy, fairly intelligent, with my own unique personality… you know, all the usual nice stuff.  Here’s my problem… I think I’m turning un-gay.  Not STRAIGHT, mind you — I have no sexual attraction to women at all.  But I feel myself losing my attraction […]