Need Wood?


Need Wood: Come and Knock on Their Door…

Hey Woody! My partner of four years has started suggesting threesomes.  I’m acting shocked because we’re monogamous but I must admit I’ve had fantasies (including foursomes and fivesomes).  We talked about the rules.  He says no kissing, he only tops, and I can be a total slut while he enjoys watching.  He wants me to […]


Need Wood: Do I Need a Social Crutch

Hey Woody! I am disabled with a disease called fibromyalgia.  I am retired now– on disability, use crutches, and deal with some pretty wicked symptoms. I try to meet people either face-to-face or online.  I always make it clear that I am looking for a range of connections so if they don’t feel comfortable with […]


Need Wood: I Want to be in Movies!

Hey Woody! Your last column made my boyfriend and I realize we need to stretch the boundaries of our sex life, so we’ve decided to take your advice and do some role-playing in front of the video cam.  Thing is, you didn’t say anything about how to get started.  Any tips? –  Ready for my […]


Need Wood: Happy Sex-a-versary!

Hey Woody! Next month I’ll be celebrating an entire year of going out with the same guy and I want to plan something special for our “anniversary,” but I want it to be sexual.  Any ideas? –  Kickin’ the habit Dear Kickin’: I say re-enact the classic sex scene in the movie 9 1/2 Weeks.  […]


Need Wood: Whips and Chains…Ho Hum…

Hey Woody! Got a weird problem (are there any other kind you print?).  My boyfriend and I of a year are seriously into kink.  I’m talking whips, chains, toys, costumes, harnesses, role-play, bondage, discipline, you name it we’ve done it.  We are the original “been there done that” couple.  The problem?  We’re bored.  We’ve basically […]


Need Wood: The Well’s Drying Up

Hey Woody! My new boyfriend has an odd problem that’s driving me nuts.  He can’t c-m when I’m in bed with him.  Never mind that I give Category 5 bl-wj-bs; never mind that we screw each other so hard our bed calls the police anytime we come near it.  Doesn’t matter—he can’t c-m.  But if […]


Need Wood: No-Luck Chuck!

Hey Woody! In our relationship I’m the raging top and my boyfriend’s the power bottom.  Perfect fit, huh?  Except for one thing:  I’m a two-pump chump.  I don’t last but a minute or two once I penetrate him.  I’m mortified and humiliated but nothing I’ve tried seems to help.  My boyfriend’s been supportive but I […]


Need Wood: Smile! You’re on Candid Camera!

Hey Woody! My boyfriend is so insecure if we don’t have sex for more than a couple of days he thinks I’m losing interest and will end up breaking up with him.  On top of that he’s so insecure about his looks he constantly wants me to f–k him in front of the webcam for […]


Need Wood: Nothin’ Says Lovin’ Like a Homemade Video!

Hey Woody! Do you think making homegrown p-rn is a good idea?  –  In Focus Dear Focus: I think it’s a great idea.  Like Larry Flynt, the publisher of Hustler once said, “There are two kinds of people who criticize p-rn—those who don’t know what they’re talking about and those who don’t know what they’re […]

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Need Wood: Players Gonna Play Play Play Play…

Hey Woody! I met this guy at an after-work, low-key bar.  Just my type—thirty-ish, bookish, but athletic.  Couldn’t tell if he was attracted so I went to the bathroom (my rule is, if they’re there when I get back, they’re interested).  He was!  I offer to buy him a drink.  He accepts. Tried to kiss […]

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Need Wood: The Good Ones are Straight and Married!

Hey Woody! A straight married couple has glommed on to me and we do the whole scene:  drugs, club parties, gay bars.  The guy is hot.  I mean like sacrifice-your-career-to-smell-his-dirty-shorts hot. He’s very affectionate with me, even kisses me hello.  On the mouth.  His wife (who’s also hot) encourages it.  One night we were dancing […]

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Need Wood: Pretty Weird Science!

Hey Woody, I’m 100% gay but I’ve been having cyber sex with four straight guys.  I use a female screen name, complete with nudie pictures I downloaded from a website. I’m on it every other night and I’ve developed strong relationships with these guys.  We’ve had great talks and even better sex. I like to […]


Need Wood: Look at Me…and Look at You!

Hey Woody! Last week I went home with a guy I had a crush on 10 years ago.  I hadn’t seen him in a few years and we ran into each other at a bar.  He seemed to have really aged and put on some weight, while I’ve gotten all buff at the gym. He […]

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Need Wood: Where the Kisses are His and His and His…Three’s Company, Too?

Hey Woody! I’m not sure how it happened but a few of my friends ended up sleeping with this guy that just moved into town.  But I was the one who ended up dating him.  Well, one day we’re in the hot tub with a bunch of my friends and he realizes he’s slept with […]


Need Wood: What Do They Have That I Don’t Have?

Hey Woody! My boyfriend is addicted to p-rnography.   He’d rather masturbate to naked men on the videos than make love to me.  I’m not some skanky guy, Woody.  I’m 6 foot, 170 lbs and I work out every day.  I’ve tried to get him to read articles or get help but he won’t do it.  […]