|
Written by Billy Masters
|
 When I walked into the Beverly Hilton for the Golden Globes, a strange man stopped me on the red carpet and handed me his business card, saying that I should call him. He could help me. I shoved it in my pocket and forgot about it. When I took my tux to the cleaner, I found a card for "Instant Burn Recovery," specialists in plastic surgery for burn victims. Did I look THAT bad? This reminded me of the first time I met Gloria Allred. We were seated together at a party. After a few of my anecdotes, she handed me her card saying, "You should always have this on you - something tells me you'll need it."
|
|
Written by Billy Masters
|
 "I asked him if he's elected, how does he plan to engage gay Americans. How are we to support him? And he told me to support Obama." - Scott Arnold, Adjunct Professor of Writing at William Penn University, talks about his encounter with Newt Gingrich. Of course, I wasn't really planning on voting for him anyway.
|
|
Written by Billy Masters
|
"That was the best kiss I have ever had. It was deep, it was intense, and it was a long time coming." - Jason Segel talks about the on-screen kiss he shared with Paul Rudd on "Saturday Night Live" which included, dare I say, licking.
|
|
Written by Billy Masters
|
 "Skinny little twinks like him. He doesn't like the bears, that would be my guess." - Chaz Bono tells Joy Behar what he thinks "Dancing With The Stars" judge Bruno Tonioli's type is. I am SO excited that someone can be in their mid-50s and still be considered a "twink" - this means I've got 10 more years...at least! But would you really consider Chaz a "bear"?
|
|
Written by Billy Masters
|
"We're judging the jive here, me ole sausage." - Len Goodman chastises Derek Hough after his dance last week with Ricki Lake. "Me ole sausage"? I believe that's the British equivalent of me calling my friend a messy bottom.
|
|
|
Written by Billy Masters
|
 "They ask me every year, and I just can't do it. I tell them why: 'You guys keep saying every year you're going to get A-list people and then it's the girl that was with George Clooney!'" - Jenny McCarthy explains why she keeps turning down offers to appear on "Dancing With The Stars". When Jenny McCarthy thinks she's too good for your show, you're in trouble.
|
|
Written by Billy Masters
|
 "Good things don't end unless they end badly." - Ben from The Bachelorette tells Ashley his feelings after being dumped. Something tells me it won't end any better when he becomes the next "The Bachelor" on January 2nd.
|
|
Written by Billy Masters
|
 "I like more of a guy's guy. Like Johnny Depp, James Franco, Ellen DeGeneres." - Sara Gilbert shares her opinion of Bradley Cooper being named "People" magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive". Because, as we all know, Gilbert is known for her discerning taste in men.
|
|
Written by Billy Masters
|
 "I had never worn a thong before. So the first time I tried it, I put it on wrong and my junk didn't fit in it. I had to call a wardrobe person in and go, 'Something's wrong with my thong, you guys. I think we're going to have to figure this out.' And they go, 'Yeah, your legs are in the wrong holes!'" - Matt Bomer discusses shooting his stripping scenes for "Magic Mike". Do you really need to include instructions with a thong?
|
|
Written by Billy Masters
|
"Kate Winslet has gone off the rails. Jesus, girl, it's just an Emmy." - Sandra Bernhard Tweets her reaction to Winslet's Emmy win. While I echo her thoughts, I don't believe Miss Sandi has ever been invited to the Emmys, let alone been nominated for one. Just keepin' it real.
|
|
