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Written by Woody Miller
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Hey Woody,
I'm always pursuing guys that I can't have and running away from guys that show interest. I'm a sad contradiction. I'm always alone and find myself longing for a boyfriend. Whenever hot guys do approach me I freeze up and can't talk to them and they in turn believe there is no interest and move on. I'm afraid to make the first move. I've lost out on a lot of hot men over the years and realize I have no one to blame but myself. On top of that, I had one relationship over 14 years ago and he ended it. Since then I'm afraid to open up to anyone. I think he'll only see my flaws once he gets to know me, dump me and my self-esteem will suffer. I lost my job after that relationship ended, obsessing over him and feeling like I was worthless and am afraid it could happen again.
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Written by Woody Miller
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Hey Woody,
Remember when you got all gooey last fall and came up with what you called "intimacy builders?" I laughed when I read them cuz they sounded so out there. Until I tried them and they really worked. I was wondering if you've come up with any new ones.
-Never doubt you again
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Written by Woody Miller
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Hey Woody,
When my 26-year-old boyfriend and I got together (I'm 28) we were at it like three times a day. I was insatiable. But it's been three years now and I admit I often suck him off just to get it over with. Sometimes when he's pumping away between my legs I just drift off and think about other things. You can imagine what my boyfriend thinks of all this. He's become insecure, worried that I might be having an affair (I'm not). He doesn't understand how I can go from wanting sex three times a day to three times a month. Frankly, neither do I. Plus, he loved that I used to be, as he so charmingly put it, a "really dirty bitch" and now I'm just a vanilla'd up joe. What's wrong with me and how do I get my sexual mojo back?
- Puzzled in Peoria
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Written by Woody Miller
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Hey Woody,
I'm 28, reasonably good-looking, I work out, I'm well-read, drive a good car, have a good job, blah, blah, blah. So why can't I bag any guys? I'm not interested in one-night stands. I want dates, not tricks. Whenever I meet someone I try to be as impressive as I can. I try to do everything right: I say cool things, I try to figure out what the guy wants to hear. If I say something he doesn't like I backpedal and change what I said to better suit his tastes. Clearly I'm not trying hard enough because Saturday nights might as well be Monday nights for all the dates I'm getting. What am I doing wrong? How can I be impressive enough to get the guys I want?
- Ready to impress or implode |
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Written by Woody Miller
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Hey Woody,
My friends have a raging debate going on about relationships. Half think "Opposites Attract," while the other half say, "Opposites Attack." I'm curious, what does the Woodster think?
-No position on opposition
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Written by Woody Miller
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Hey Woody,
I am 23 and my partner is 26. We have been together 4.5 years and I practically moved in on the first date! We bought a house in January, and I'm feeling very "grown up." I thought we were the only ones....until I read the letter in your column from "Age wasted on young." All our friends are the apartment-dwelling-single-party types and when I read the letter, I knew I had to do everything I could to meet this other settled early twenties couple. I know you probably can't give me their contact info, but I thought maybe you could forward this letter to them and maybe they would feel a similar desire to say "hey."
-Been there
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Written by Woody Miller
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Hey Woody,
My partner and I are trying to add a little spice to our serviceable but rather bland sex life. Any suggestions?Just keep in mind that we consider salt and pepper spices, so don't be giving us hair-straightening Tabasco sauce suggestions!
-Vanilla aching for flavor
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Written by Woody Miller
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Hey Woody,
I just moved here and can't believe how juvenile guys are about HIV. I'm quite up-front about my status and I choose to let it come out in the natural course of getting to know a guy. Granted, after living through the crisis since the beginning (nearly 19 years now) I have seen a lot, and I find myself getting all pissed off at an increasingly visible trend of sexual discrimination.
What is up with so many guys advertising their HIV-negative status in discriminatory terms like "HIV Neg- UB2," or "D&D Free for Same," and other senseless statements in the same vein? What would they do DIFFERENTLY if they DIDN'T know my status right up front? And since when does the word "CLEAN" refer to absence of HIV?
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Written by Woody Miller
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Hey Woody,
I thought you might be able to help us. After a month's breakup last year due to infidelity on my part over a need to get some butt, my lover and I decided to give it another go. I told him I'd agree to a monogamous relationship if he'd learn to, er, take it like a man. I expressed my need to be the top occasionally and that I was not willing to live out the rest of my life without penetrating someone every now and again. I feel our acts of love should be a free exchange of roles (top some; bottom some). He said he'd be willing to work with me on learning the pleasures of receiving. I was elated because I really love this guy
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Written by Woody Miller
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Hey Woody,
How many calories do you burn having sex? I'm thinking if it's high enough, wouldn't promiscuity be a better way of getting fit than going to the gym? Besides, I'd love to be able to say, "I'm not a whore; I'm an athlete." In all seriousness, if I can freak the fat off, why would I try to try to jog it off?
- Aspiring Slut
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