COOKING THE BOOKS!
In April, on the John McSame website, one of the recipes listed as original by his wife, Cindy McSame, were lifted from Rachel Ray and the Food Network. They blamed an intern, who somehow confused Rachel and Cindy, for the mistake. Now the Huffington Post has revealed another kitchen scandal. A recipe for Cindy McSame’s oatmeal butterscotch cookies in the July edition of Family Circle Magazine that is almost identical to the recipe from Hershey's website. The difference? Hershey calls for 1¾ cups butterscotch chips and Cindy’s recipe calls for 1 2/3 cups butterscotch chips. The difference is 1/12 of a cup or a heaping tablespoon (maybe it’s a typo). You know, Cindy, if you really don’t sit home baking cookies, just be honest about it like Hillary Clinton did in 1992 when she stated that she didn’t have time to sit home and bake cookies and serve tea. Yeah, she did take a lot of flak for her statement at that time, but as we can all see, 16 years later, it didn’t hurt her any. However, Cindy, I have a secret family recipe of my own I would like to share with you and I give you permission to take full credit: two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun. If you like that one, I also have one that includes chicken with eleven herbs and spices.
STOCKING UP FOR WINTER!
According to the N.Y. Post, just like squirrels gathering nuts for winter, scientists in Antarctica store up condoms. “A U.S. research base in Antarctica just got a shipment of 16,500 condoms to get its staff of just 125 through the upcoming long, dark winter. The condoms are being provided to keep people from being embarrassed about buying them at the McMurdo base station. ‘Since everybody knows everyone, it becomes a bit uncomfortable,’ said McMurdo’s manager, Bill Henriksen.” The story fails to speculate if there were any 55-gallon drums of lube in the shipment.
EVERYTHING’S GAYER IN PARIS!
The Paris Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas is playing the gay card like never before as they’re pushing their new gay vacation packages with ads that feature two “Jacks” on one playing card. These ads are being used to tout their new “Gay Days and Nights” vacation packages. To my knowledge, this is the first Vegas vacation package ever aimed directly at the gay audience, though Las Vegas has been a very gay-friendly resort destination for many years. The package includes a 20% discount on room rates and $5 off meals at their Le Village Buffet.
ELLEN TO TELECAST WEDDING!
Talk show host Ellen DeGeneres has announced that she will televise portions of her upcoming wedding to Portia de Rossi on her daily television show. According to People magazine: “I can’t wait to be married. I feel like it is long overdue. And I think some day people will look back on this like women not having the right to vote and segregation and anything else that seems ridiculous like we all don’t have the same rights.”
HEFNER’S “INTERESTING EXPERIENCE”!
According to the New York Post, in an upcoming book, “Mr. Playboy: Hugh Hefner and the American Dream” author Steven Watts tells about Hef’s one and only gay sex experience, “Hefner’s thirst for sexual experience became so strong that he even had a one-time homosexual experience,” Watts writes. “One evening in downtown Chicago he was propositioned and, according to Sellers, he thought, what the hell. Found it an interesting experience. As far as I know, the guy just gave him [oral sex].” Hefner stated that he gave Watts full-access to his personal papers and that “This is the most authoritative book ever written about me. It’s all essentially true.”
SEX ARRESTS ON THE RISE!
Police seem to be cracking down on public gay sex in areas we would least expect it. For two weekends in a row Fire Island, New York police have arrested guys for having sex in the “Meat Rack” area between the towns of Cherry Grove and The Pines. This area is under control of the National Park Service and it is believed these are the first arrests for gay sex on Federal land. Up in Cape Cod, Massachusetts rangers are stepping up patrol and issuing public sex citations, though not making arrests.
BOMB, BOMB IRAN!
I’m not saying that Senator John McSame is running for Bush’s third term (which he is), but it seems the two can’t separate when it comes to some of the important issues in this election. Last weekend, conservative columnist Bill Kristol said on Faux News Network’s Sunday morning show that if Bush thinks that Obama will win the presidency then Bush will probably bomb Iran before he leaves office. However, if McSame wins, he will not bomb Iran but leave it for the new president to do.
“MENTAL RAPE”!
According to Media Matters, uber-conservative radio host Michael Savage’s advice on explaining homosexuality to children: “You’ve got to explain to the children…why God told people this was wrong. …You have to explain this to them in this time of mental rape that’s going on. The children’s minds are being raped by the homosexual mafia, that’s my position. They’re raping our children’s minds.” For a short period of time, Savage had a weekend show on MSNBC, but his show was cancelled when he responded to a gay caller with: “Oh, you’re one of the sodomites. You should only get AIDS and die, you pig. How’s that? Why don’t you see if you can sue me, you pig. You got nothing better than to put me down, you piece of garbage. You have got nothing to do today, go eat a sausage and choke on it.”
