Online Dating

It wasn't planned this way, but the businesses that benefited most from the economic stimulus checks earlier this year have been online porn and online dating services. It appears Americans were willing to spend that money, but they weren't willing to spend it on gasoline.

Whether it is MySpace, Facebook or any of the dozens of hook-up sites, meeting people online is the 21st century answer to the matchmakers and blind dates. Whether you're looking for the love of your life, your next ex-boyfriend or a quick trick, finding a date has become as easy as turning on the computer.

Online dating has its benefits. A shy person can open up without the first-date jitters. By the time they actually meet there has already been a level of comfort set. Social butterflies can easily arrange many dates in a short period of time.

On the other hand, you have no idea of what you are really getting. How many 60 year-olds say they are 25 on their profile? Is that single-and-looking dreamboat really in a long-term relationship with a jealous partner? How many claim to be a top and versatile top when he's really a big old bottom? Finally, haven't you heard of the term, “AOL inches”?

Though a picture may be worth a thousand words, those words may not always be the truth. I had a real-time friend (not an online acquaintance) who did a few erotic photosets about seven years ago and his pictures were very popular. They were posted all over the dating sites… but not by him.
So, as a precaution, be wary and careful. The vast majority of members are honest and honorable, as are their intentions. The management of the websites would like to be able to have better control over the bad seeds, but the technology is limited at this time. Be careful when meeting face-to-face the first time, prepare for the possibility of being disappointed and meet in a public place — a restaurant is always perfect. So if you act responsibly and keep an open mind, online dating can be fun and exciting.

Here are a few tips for safe online dating:
·    Don't divulge too much personal information and stay as anonymous as possible for a while.
·    Use the dating services internal email service for a while before giving your actual personal email address.
·    Never give your residential address, even if the offer of a gift is very enticing.
·    Try using online messenger services, such as AOL or Yahoo, for a while before giving your telephone number. It may be slower, but it's much safer.
·    Never, ever give your Social Security or driver's license numbers.

By following these simple security measures it'll be easier to dump him if he turns out to be a creep.
Keep in mind that Prince Charming is a fictional character and so are all those Prince Charmings you are likely to meet online. Statistically speaking, most of the dates will turn out to be duds. That said, it doesn't mean you won't have a good time if you're a little flexible in your expectations and demands. You only like blondes? Loosen up a little and check out that cute redhead. And, if all goes well online and the two of you decide to finally meet, don't take it personally if there is no second date. It's better to find out things won't work early on in the online dating game. Just get online and make arrangements with someone for the next weekend.

Another thing to keep in mind is geography. The World Wide Web is, indeed, worldwide. If you live in Fort Lauderdale, are you interested in meeting someone who lives in Tampa? That first date, and the 250-mile drive, might be romantic and make a great impression, but do you really want to make that drive several times a week? Try keeping your search local.

There are no rules requiring you to personally meet everyone you communicate with online, especially at first. Having a friend online has a much more open meaning than it does in the offline world. If you don't wish to meet the person face-to-face, politely tell him so, but you may want to keep the door open for a future meeting.  Don't ever allow yourself to be pressured into a meeting. Never meet someone just because he wants to in your first online chat. If you do decide to meet, let a personal friend or two know that you are going to meet with this person and be sure to tell them where and when.

After you agree to a meeting, familiarize yourself with the information provided in the person's profile and any other information he gave you during your online chats. When you speak face-to-face the first time, ask leading questions and see if the answers match the information previously provided. If he's going to be lying to you from the start, don't expect honesty in the future. Try to make sure that his description actually meets the description on their profile; however, this is no time to pull out a ruler. Expect him to do the same to you, so you need to be honest from the start. You might also ask him to provide a current picture of himself so you will recognize him when you first meet. If the current picture doesn't remotely resemble the pictures already in the profile, run.

Pay attention to him on that first date. Not only should you listen carefully to what he has to say, but also how he says it. Watch his mannerisms and don't drink too much (if at all) so you can better analyze what he's saying. The purpose of the first date is to see if there is a mutual attraction. Allow him to speak as much as he wants about himself, but also see if he asks you questions and gives you time to respond. Remember, if all he wants to do is talk about himself, then any future relationship will also be all about him.
On the first date, don't agree to try new and exciting things simply because they sound, well, new and exciting. If you're not normally a guy that's comfortable having sex while having your legs tied to the ceiling, don't agree to it. Dating is about two people finding out if their personalities, likes and dislikes work out together. Dating is not about reinventing yourself. All dating, online or not, requires the use of good common sense. If you're not comfortable with that person on your first date for any reason, explain the situation to him, excuse yourself and leave — pay your portion of the tab, though. Make sure to provide your own transportation to the meeting spot; don't let him pick you up on that first date.
Successful online dating may lead to a sexual relationship of some kind. Know your partner's sexual background by asking direct questions. Ask if he uses safe sex practices and if he has any sexually transmitted diseases. It's better to know the answers to these questions before embracing each other in bed. And regardless of what he says his HIV status is, use a condom.

Remember, the only person you have to answer to is yourself. If you don't feel comfortable in any situation with your date, get out. Don't feel an apology is needed when you feel threatened. Safety should be your number one concern. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so don't jump in the ocean to catch the first one you see and use common sense.