Editor’s Note: We’re delighted to welcome Mike Alvear, author of the hysterical gay sex advice column Need Wood? Tips for Getting Timber. Get ready to laugh, be informed and maybe even get offended by this singularly funny, insightful columnist. Alvear is the host of HBO’s “The Sex Inspectors,” blogs for the Huffington Post and authored three books …
Popular Gay Sex Column Debuts in Hotspots Magazine
Editor’s Note: We’re delighted to welcome Mike Alvear, author of the hysterical gay sex advice column Need Wood? Tips for Getting Timber. Get ready to laugh, be informed and maybe even get offended by this singularly funny, insightful columnist. Alvear is the host of HBO’s “The Sex Inspectors,” blogs for the Huffington Post and authored three books: “Men Are Pigs But We Love Bacon,” “Alexander The Fabulous: The Man Who Brought The World To Its Knees” and “Sex Inspectors Masterclass: How to Have an Amazing Sex Life.” His latest project is the best selling ebook, “Attract Hotter Guys with the Secrets & Science of Sexual Body Language.”
We sat down with Alvear to welcome him and get a better sense of what he has in store for our readers.
Hotspots: So, how did you get started writing sex advice for gay men?
Alvear: Dan Savage wouldn’t sell his column to gay newspapers.
Hotspots: Seriously?
Alvear: Yes. This was about ten years ago. I guess his syndication company thought it’d be bad for business. So an editor asked me if I’d write a funny, informative column about gay sex. I said, “Sure, send me a handful of your cutest employees and I’ll get started.”
Hotspots: And the column took off?
Alvear: Like a heat seeking moisture missile.
Hotspots: Why do you write Need Wood? under “woody,” a pseudonym?
Alvear: When I first started I worked in a buttoned-up corporate job. Can you imagine what a client would say if he found out the guy heading his account teaches guys how to buttf—? That’s not a problem now, but so much time went by, everybody knows me as “woody” so I kept it.
Hotspots: What’s your formula?
Alvear: I like to bootleg facts into funny rants.
Hotspots: You’re known to offend a lot of people…
Alvear: The truth shall set you free, but first it will piss you off.
Hotspots: What subject tends to enrage your readers?
Alvear: HIV. I don’t know who I anger the most—The HIV positive or the HIV negative.
Hotspots: What have been some of your favorite questions over this past year?
Alvear: Hmm. There was the hyper masculine guy who was tired of being expected to top so he asked, “How can I put out bottom energy?” On the serious side, one guy asked, “Should I have told my HIV- friend that he was going home with another friend who was HIV+ ?”
Hotspots: What kind of questions do you expect from our readers?
Alvear: “How do I get a porn-quality sphincter.”
Hotspots: You really want to start offending our readers so early in the game?
Alvear: It’s what I do.”
Need Wood? Tips for Getting Timber debuts here. Check out Mike’s best selling ebook, “Attract Hotter Guys with the Secrets & Science of Sexual Body Language” at MikeAlvear.com/ebook.
