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“I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina.” – Robert Pattinson discusses his Details magazine photo shoot where he had to sit for 12 hours with a number of naked women. While I’m sure I would feel the same way, somehow it sounds different coming from him.

 

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hollywood1“I really hate vaginas. I’m allergic to vagina.” – Robert Pattinson discusses his Details magazine photo shoot where he had to sit for 12 hours with a number of naked women. While I’m sure I would feel the same way, somehow it sounds different coming from him.

 

If there was an Olympic medal awarded for worst plastic surgery, Bob Costas would definitely take the gold. I don’t know what he’s had done – a face lift, an eye lift, or maybe the Botox needle hit an optical nerve – but every time they cut to him he’s got this crazy bug-eyed stare. It’s a kind of spooky look – like he just saw the ghost of Dick Button. What? Dick’s still alive? You could have fooled me! He certainly wasn’t wearing those shoes in the Ramble!

 

While wife Catherine Zeta-Jones is entertaining the masses on Broadway, hubby Michael Douglas is practicing the piano. Why? He’s going forward with a big screen biopic about pianist Liberace which will be directed by Steven Soderbergh. The hold-up was casting the role of Lee’s lover, Scott Thorson. Michael was hell-bent on landing Matt Damon – who isn’t? And he got his wish. Damon’s in…perhaps that was a poor choice of words under the circumstances. Lord knows where Matt Damon will squeeze this in…again, perhaps a poor choice of words. He has just been announced to play RFK in a biopic, is reuniting with buddy Ben Affleck for a movie and has at least two other films in pre-production. Busy boy.

 

“Law & Order: SVU” is really pulling out the guns when it comes to guest stars. You all know about Kathy Griffin’s appearance. Keep your eyes open for another redhead to pop up – Ann-Margret. The legendary lady will pop up on the March 31st episode playing an actress who used to make television commercials in the 70s (think Rula Lenska). The episode also includes Jaclyn Smith, who will play a retired cop who comes out of retirement to help solve an old crime that Rula…er, I mean A-M was involved in. A bigger crime is that no one even thought to simply hire poor ole Rula! Even worse, the brass found a way to fit in cameos by both Morgan Fairchild and Susan Anton. Oh, the injustice of it all…

 

I have a confession for you – I’ve never watched a single episode of “Jersey Shore.” I try to limit my trash intake to shows with some meritorious value – like “Celebrity Rehab” or “Cops.” However, I don’t live under a rock. I know who these people are and I know they’re morons (hot morons, but morons nonetheless). DJ Pauly D wants to be known for more than just decoupaging his hair – he wants to give “The Situation” a run for his money in the abs department. That would explain why he’s sending around a pic where he’s only wearing undies. I’m pleased to report that his envious physique certainly caught my attention. When there’s anything envious about the “Jersey Shore” cast it should be time to end yet another column…but not quite yet!

 

Over the years, we’ve spilt much ink (and other fluids) extolling the virtues of model Joseph Sayers. He’s one of those rare individuals who looks better the older he gets. The diminutive dude just did a shoot for iSoul Studios without a stitch of clothing. OK, nothing strange about that. He showed off his fantastic physique. Been there, done that, still enjoy seeing it. He even showed a hint of d*ck. Check. And then, BAM, full frontal, baby! Admittedly, we’ve seen his penis before. In fact, it looked slightly more impressive in those infamous pics from that Florida motel room prior to his fame (yes, they’re still on our website). I don’t know – somehow he looks even hotter now. Maybe it’s the professional lighting. Maybe it’s the touch of shaving around the base to make it look bigger (we ALL know that trick). Maybe it’s being the ripe old age of 26! Whatever the reason, you should definitely check them out at BillyMasters.com.

 

I’ve been getting a steady stream of Olympic “Ask Billy” questions, like this one from George in Dallas: “Evan Lysacek. Straight? So tall and lean and muscular. Really? And what’s his body like under that Lycra?”

 

Certainly all reports indicate that the gold medal winner loves the ladies ad during an interview with spooky old Bob Costas his speech pattern was eerily reminiscent of Brian Boitano – another confirmed p*ssy hound. But, you know, there are other things to take into consideration. Vera Wang, feathers, hair gel and just the right amount of face stubble. Hmmm….I don’t know. The only females he’s been linked to are fellow athletes (shades of Mr. Button). Then there’s his body. We must tip our hat to the folks at OK magazine, who did a spread featuring shirtless Olympians. Evan’s ripped, taut torso (and that little tattoo below his waistline) is certainly something to behold (I’m thinking of something in particular I’d like to beholding, but that’s another story). Skier Andy Newell was also quite impressive – enough so that I’ll post both pics on BillyMasters.com

 

Could it be that we haven’t seen all of Scott Brown? Sure, there’s that nude Cosmo shot, but he’s covering up the goods. I wondered what else I’d find if I did some digging. For example, did you know he was a successful male model represented by the renowned Wilhelmina in New York for a few years? When he came back to Boston he was repped by Boston legend Maggie Trichon for about a decade. That’s lots of shoots – with a day rate well into four figures. So we dug a little deeper and what do you think popped up? A full-frontal nude photo. It certainly appears to be his face and body. And it’s certainly an impressive penis (even if it does lean to the right), but is it real? And where did it (the picture) come from? And are there more? All of that will be revealed on BillyMasters.com

 

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