Hey Woody,
I’m a quiz junkie but I can never find interesting sex quizzes. Is there any site that has quizzes worth taking? And also, why don’t YOU write one. You’re funny!
– Quiz Wiz
Hey Woody,
I’m a quiz junkie but I can never find interesting sex quizzes. Is there any site that has quizzes worth taking? And also, why don’t YOU write one. You’re funny!
– Quiz Wiz
Dear Quiz-Wiz,
The reason I don’t write them is because I’m lazier than furniture. Now, while I am too lazy to write them, I’m never too lazy to read them. And some of the best (or at least most entertaining) come from a website called Queendom.com, which actually has testing service professionals on staff. Here’s a sampling of the quizzes I liked:
The Promiscuity Test
- Can you remember the names of everyone you’ve slept with?
- Have you ever had sex with more than one person in the same day?
- Have you ever kept an obscene phone caller on the line and had phone sex with them?
- Have you ever had sex with someone who didn’t speak a word of your language?
- Have you ever had sex in your parents’ bed?
The Sexual Appropriateness Test
- Would you give an EXTREMELY attractive employee a promotion if they offered to sleep with you if you were sure nobody would ever find out?
- Have you ever hit on a friend’s date?
- Would you sleep with someone in exchange for a brand new dream house that you would never be able to have otherwise?
- Have you ever had consensual sex with a cousin?
The Dirty Mind Test
- Would you give up a year of your life if you could live out your ultimate sexual fantasy?
- You and your spouse are shopping for mattresses. Do you immediately think about how good the sex will be, rather than the sleep?
- You call up a good looking friend and he says he’ll call you back because he’s just getting into the shower. Do you mentally insert yourself into the picture?
- Is it okay to have sexual fantasies about a friend’s spouse?
- Can you get a massage without thinking about sex?
The Fatal Attraction Test
- Have you ever tried to lure an ex into the bedroom in order to win them back?
- Have you ever checked or tried to check an ex’s answering machine, voice mail or e-mail messages?
- Do you have photo albums of pictures with people’s faces cut out?
- Would you rather see any of your ex’s dead than in the arms of another person?
The Dumb Blonde Test
- Do you approach blondes more often than non-blondes?
- If there were a pill that would make you permanently blonde without roots but take away your sense of smell, would you take it?
- Have you ever pretended to be dumber than your boyfriend just to soothe his ego?
When you hear a blonde joke, do you:
- Genuinely laugh
- Get offended
- Ask for an explanation
- Have you ever locked your keys in your car–while it was still running?
- Have you ever looked for your sunglasses only to realize they were on top of your head?
- When someone asks you if the carpet matches the drapes, do you go in the living room and check?
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Hey Woody,
I read your answer to “smelly” (how to tell your new boyfriend his crotch smells like a grease-encrusted vomit bucket). Loved your answer but wanted to add a different dimension to the problem. I’m one of those guys who smell down there because I sweat so much. It’s very embarrassing. It doesn’t take much to soak my shirt. I could be in a mildly warm bar and sweat like I’m a whore in church. Any advice for people like me?
– Spikot
