Hey Woody,
I’m 22 and my partner’s 23. We have sex about twice a week, down from every day when we first met. Sex is so routine it’s like a choreographed dance step where I know what he’s going to do before he even does it. And frankly, I’m no better. We moved in together after going out for a couple of weeks. Yes, weeks. We’re honorary lesbians! We used to have wild weekends, adventurous sex, blah, blah, blah. Now we’re like an old married couple. It’s like our lives suddenly turned so SERIOUS. Any tips on how two twenty-something oldsters can recapture their youth? We feel kind of trapped because we’re both …
Hey Woody,
I’m 22 and my partner’s 23. We have sex about twice a week, down from every day when we first met. Sex is so routine it’s like a choreographed dance step where I know what he’s going to do before he even does it. And frankly, I’m no better. We moved in together after going out for a couple of weeks. Yes, weeks. We’re honorary lesbians! We used to have wild weekends, adventurous sex, blah, blah, blah. Now we’re like an old married couple. It’s like our lives suddenly turned so SERIOUS. Any tips on how two twenty-something oldsters can recapture their youth? We feel kind of trapped because we’re both monogamously vanilla, meaning we want to spice up our sex life without using anything from the spice rack. How can we put the fun back in the bedroom?
– Age wasted on young
Dear Wasted,
Sounds like lesbian bed death syndrome has come to roost in your home. Part of the problem is that you guys got so serious so quick. You skipped the normal courtship stage. It’s like you met in April, married in May, had kids in June and cashed in your 401k’s in July. Damn. I’m wrinkling up just thinking about it. Here’s what you need to do: Lighten up. Introduce a little playfulness into your lives. You need to be silly, goofy and make each other laugh. Here are two guaranteed ways of doing it:
Naked Twister®. When Milton Bradley came out with this game in 1966 critics called it “sex in a box.” Can’t blame them, really. Until then, placing your head between the legs of a relative stranger was something little boys did in church.
Anyway, here are the basics and then a couple of ways to make it a bit more fun.
The setup: Spread the mat face up on a flat surface. Don’t use the bed. I want you getting off not falling off. Face each other from opposite ends of the mat, near the word Twister. Place one foot on the yellow circle and the other foot on the blue circle closest to your end of the mat. Your partner does the same on his end.
How to Play
You take turns spinning the spinner and call out the body part and the color that the arrow points to. For example: “Right hand, red.” Your partner must then put his right hand in, duh, the red spot. There can never be more than one hand or foot on any one circle and that’s where the fun starts. You’re going to get into positions that 9 out of 10 chiropractors agree will bring them a lot of patients.
Strip Twister
After every spin, each person removes an item of clothing, from where they are standing, without falling down. More twist: newly exposed body parts gets sprayed with PAM, or rubbed with lube.
Oily Twister®
Two words: Baby Oil. Not only will it be funnier, it’ll be sexier when you see his glistening muscles. That is, of course, if you can take your eyes off your own. God, do I know my audience or what?
Anyway, the point of all this is to have fun and set off sexual sparks. Trust me, you will. Seeing each other’s bodies tangled in positions they’ve never been in before will put the oil back in your creaky sex life.
