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hollywood inside 2I have a lot of gay fans because they know that I just accept people as they are.  That’s not my place to judge.  I ain’t God and I ain’t runnin’ for office.” – Dolly Parton explains her support for filmmakers (and dear friends) Gary and Larry Lane.  Their documentary, “Hollywood to Dollywood” won a slew of awards at film festivals and is now available on DVD at Hollywood2Dollywood.com.

“I have a lot of gay fans because they know that I just accept people as they are.  That’s not my place to judge.  I ain’t God and I ain’t runnin’ for office.” – Dolly Parton explains her support for filmmakers (and dear friends) Gary and Larry Lane.  Their documentary, “Hollywood to Dollywood” won a slew of awards at film festivals and is now available on DVD at Hollywood2Dollywood.com.

hollywood inside 1When I spend an extended period of time out of the country, I worry about the unexpected.  This fear was almost realized when I got the following e-mail from a fan: “Billy, didn’t you have some nude photos of your friend who was on ‘The Real World’?  Since he just died, could you run them?”  I immediately tracked down every RW alumni that I have nude photos of, and that’s quite a list.  With everyone seemingly accounted for, I discovered that the person in question was Joey Kovar – someone I only met a couple of times after his “Real World: Hollywood” stint (but prior to “Celebrity Rehab”).  Although he wasn’t gay, he had a gay following due to his full frontal “Playgirl” spread.  While it’s a dubious way to honor him, I’ll do just that on BillyMasters.com.

You’ve all undoubtedly heard about the nude photos of Prince Harry.  He was in a VIP suite in Las Vegas with a group of girls playing a game of strip billiards.  Regardless of what people tell you, what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas (thank God for moi).  One of the revelers snapped some photos of the Prince nude, which means two things: 1) he’s not very bright and 2) he lost the game!  In the first photo, he’s seen cupping the royal jewels while an anonymous girl crouches behind him.  In the second, he is bent over said girl, exposing the royal buttocks.

Since the palace “asked” the British press not to run the photos, they initially complied – even though we’ve already seen William’s willy and Charles’ cock.  Eventually, the “Sun” broke ranks and put Harry right on their cover.  And you know what happened?  The prince’s approval rating went UP!  Most people feel that he’s young, he’s single, he’s just having fun, who cares?  I should add that this is the same public who once saw Fergie as a breath of fresh air, and we know how that turned out (I believe toe-sucking is the line that one cannot cross).  Since I’ve never been one to stand on ceremony, I’m happy to run all these naughty bits and regal rears on BillyMasters.com.

While some scandals are caused by a photo, Derek Hough is in the middle of one for the exact opposite reason.  The “Dancing with the Stars” stud was in Salt Lake City to see alleged girlfriend Katherine Jenkins in concert with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.  And what do you do after spending an evening with a bunch of Mormons?  Go to a gay dance club – as so many straight men do.  And Derek was allegedly wearing “skintight, shiny silver pants” – as so many….oh, never mind.  A man told the “National Enquirer” that he asked Hough if he could take a photo with him.  Derek allegedly “got all nervous and fidgety and stammered, ‘No, no, no – not here!’  Ken added, “Derek very well may not be gay, but he sure was dressed pretty and threw an impressive hissy fit when I asked for a photo!”  Of course, gay rumors are nothing new to Derek.  He once said, “I’ve been called gay forever because I’m a dancer.”  Um, I don’t think that’s the reason.

Remember Nick Gruber?  Calvin Klein’s most recent boy toy with a naughty video past?  Since his break-up with the designer, his arrest and subsequent stint in rehab, he’s planning to write his memoirs – tentatively titled “What Came Between Me and My Calvin.”  Oh, he’s a clever one.  A writer who’s been approached to “collaborate” with Nick on the tawdry tale claims that this is the only way Gruber can get “closure” in the wake of his tumultuous 2-year relationship with Klein.  While shopping it around, he’s telling potential publishers that lots of secrets about Calvin and his cronies will be revealed.  On the record, he’s only saying “Yes, it’s true that I’m writing a book.”  I suspect he’s saying that for the benefit of people like me who are not at all convinced that he’s ever READ a book.

Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Mitchell in Cincinnati: “Have you heard any news about the new John Barrowman series that Shonda Rhimes is producing?  I haven’t heard anything since it was announced.”

It’s amazing to me how many potential series have involved Barrowman, and how many have either never made it to air or fizzled shortly thereafter.  Obviously he has talent and a following, but he’s not had much luck here in the States – but not for lack of trying.  Rhimes’ “Gilded Lilys” was ordered by ABC, but the network passed.  That meant Johnny was able to take a role in the upcoming “Green Arrow” series for the CW.  We know precious little about his part (well, not THAT part – his quite large member is readily available on BillyMasters.com).  On the show, he’ll be playing a wealthy, sexy, mysterious man who has ties to quite a few characters.  He’ll initially be recurring with hopes of being a series regular for season two – if, of course, there is a season two.

When Harry’s using his penis as a billiards cue, it’s time for me to end yet another column.  Perhaps that’s why he lost.  If you’ve got a question you’d like me to tackle, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com“>Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Derek gets into another huff (sorry, I couldn’t resist)!  Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

 

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