Hey Woody,
Well, I had my first three-way yesterday. I know you’re breathless to hear the full report so here goes. Had to drive all the way to the deepest darkest part of suburbia to do it—a couple of 40-something boys living in an enormous, rather tasteless 6,000 square foot McMansion in a gated community.
Hey Woody,
Well, I had my first three-way yesterday. I know you’re breathless to hear the full report so here goes. Had to drive all the way to the deepest darkest part of suburbia to do it—a couple of 40-something boys living in an enormous, rather tasteless 6,000 square foot McMansion in a gated community. Nice guys, just not as handsome in person as in their pics (surprise!). The sex was fun enough, but I knew before it was over that I would not seek a rematch…
Anyway, they were a confirmed bottom and top. I had this fantasy—I’ve long had this fantasy—of being literally in the middle, taking it up the butt from one and giving it up the butt to the other, simultaneously.
Being the top and the bottom at the same time always looks so easy in the porn videos, but in real life it’s something of an engineering challenge. We tried, but things literally kept popping out of place. The top in the couple got tired of it, ended up masturbating, finishing, and making himself scarce, vanishing into the yawning spaces of their castle, and I pounded the bottom silly. I took a shower in their cultured marble master bath and drove home. Yawn. End of story. My question and I do have one, is how do you pull this feat off, topping and bottoming at the same time without everything slipping out?
— On the fantasy look-out
Dear On:
Ah, bless the man in the middle who swings back and forth and provides sport in either port.
The reason things keep slipping out is because the pumping rhythms of the two “tops” are out of whack. Here’s how to get them aligned. But first, a little sex sandwich schematic so you can follow the instructions:
1. Top slice
2. Meat in the middle
3. Bottom slice
Now, keep looking at the 1-2-3 schematic as you read. Here’s the short answer: The Meat in the Middle calls the shots. “Top slice” can’t “pump” because he’ll slip Meat in the Middle’s d*#k out of Bottom Slice’s butt. So, Top Slice must surrender to the motion of Meat in the Middle’s pumping. Again, Top Slice doesn’t pump. Instead, he lets Meat in the Middle’s anal walls massage his dick. He doesn’t drill; he chills.
It’s sort of like when you’re having sex with somebody who’s sitting on your d*#k. You’re not really pumping; you’re letting him do all the work. Which really, when you think about it, is the perfect scenario for selfish pigs. Your partner does all the work and you get all the credit.
