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NeedWood-bannerHow are we supposed to decide which erectile dysfunction pill to use?  I’ve heard they operate on the same principle, so what criteria do doctors use to prescribe one over the other?

Pecker Picker Uppers: Which One and Why?

NeedWood-bannerHey woody!

How are we supposed to decide which erectile dysfunction pill to use?  I’ve heard they operate on the same principle, so what criteria do doctors use to prescribe one over the other?  I’m 27 and I don’t “need” to use them, but I like to take an “Erection Vacation” once in a while. I’m pretty sure I can work my doctor into giving me some samples but I doubt he’ll give me samples of all three (I’m a good flirt but I ain’t that good). So which one should I ask for?

 — Holiday Horn-dog

 Dear Horn-dog:

Please. You can’t get squeeze more than a few pills out of your doctor? Forget about flirting; try stealing. I’ve gotten so good at robbery even my tricks count their teeth after I’ve kissed them.

There are three “pecker picker uppers” in the market:  Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis. On a physiological basis, all three drugs open blood vessels into the penis and block an enzyme called PDE-5, a chemical that shoos away erections. You know, like vaginas. There’s more PDE-5 in the penis than anywhere else in the body and that’s why the drugs have such specific effects on your boy toy.

Which drug should you steal from your doctor’s sample cabinet? According to a study presented at the 6th congress of the European Society for Sexual Medicine, it’s Levitra.

In the study, 47 men received each of the drugs for six weeks with a one-week drug-free period in between. I know… you don’t understand the concept of a drug-free period; none of my readers do. This is not a definitive study since the vote was on personal preference rather than scientific measurement. Still, it’s a pretty good guide.

Wave your penis over the benefits and drawbacks below and see which one stiffens your resolve. But, if you suffer from blood pressure or heart conditions, stop reading. Taking any of these drugs could kill you. 

 

Cialis

Benefits:  Can last up to 48 hours (the French call it “Le weekend”), giving you something the others can’t–spontaneity.  Most cost effective (the “per pill” cost is the same, but since it lasts longer you don’t have to take them as often). Cialis isn’t affected by food like Viagra is—it’s as effective on an empty stomach as a full one.  Also, it doesn’t give a bluish tint to your vision as Viagra and Levitra do to some men. And, most importantly, Cialis has the gayest-sounding chemical of the three (tadafil).

Drawbacks:  About 5% of men taking it report back pain. It’s the slowest acting of the three: it takes about an hour to get wood (versus Viagra’s 45 minutes and Levitra’s 30 minutes), also can give general achy feeling.

 

Levitra

Benefits:  Quick Wood. You won’t have to drum your fingers on the table very long before said table rises with your crotch. Also, it works much better than Viagra (though not as good as Cialis) after a high-fat meal (Viagra’s absorption is significantly compromised after a meal).  

 

Viagra

Benefits: Bob Dole is no longer their spokesman. Oh, and it has the longest track record of effectiveness and safety.

Drawbacks: Long wood wait-time (about an hour). And if you eat, forget it. Wait three hours before swallowing the pill (food significantly diminishes its effectiveness.)