“What I say in the book is, ‘A BJ a day keeps the divorce attorney away’.” – Niecy Nash shares her secret for a successful marriage. Who am I to argue with someone who fixed Sherri Shepherd up with her most recent husband?
I love the Internet. Not just because of the juggernaut BillyMasters.com has become, but because: 1) virtually anyone can publish whatever they want and call it news and b) people will believe it. With my job (such as it is), I spend hours carefully researching stories. Last week, it was reported that Disney would be making an animated feature about two gay princes. The alleged movie was to be based on the children’s book “The Princes and the Treasure”, which is a real book released earlier this year. It features two handsome princes who fall in love with each other during their quest to save a princess. So far, so good. However, the report said that Disney would release this film in fall of 2015. How on Earth could this movie be out in a matter of months when the long-gestating “Finding Nemo” sequel has been in production for years? Yes, someday our prince will come; but this story is a bunch of crap. Disney is not making a movie about gay princes anytime soon. Sure, many people believe that “Frozen” is a veiled lesbian allegory. But that’s as far as it’s going…for now.
A few years ago, the thought of a professional athlete saying he was gay would have been fantasy. But it’s happening more and more every day. Last week, it was Robbie Rogers who was out front and center. The soccer player was fêted at a West Hollywood soirée to celebrate the release of his autobiography, “Coming Out To Play”. Since he’s the spousal equivalent of TV producer Greg Berlanti, it’s no surprise that his story has already been attached to a television show. Back in July, Craig Zadan and Neil Meron optioned Robbie’s life story and began developing a sitcom about a young gay male soccer player. Three months later, ABC signed off on “Men In Shorts”. That’s an awful lot of attention for a soccer player in the US – regardless of his sexuality.
If you know one thing about me, it’s that I don’t kick someone when they’re down. Others made jokes about Clay Aiken being a perpetual bridesmaid after his second-place showing to become Congressman from North Carolina. But not moi…no siree. I made those jokes long BEFORE the election (I always like to be first). But Clay’s a clever minx; he’s always got a B-plan. A film crew was following him on the campaign trail and the result will be a four-hour documentary series for the Esquire Network (whatever that is). But we hear that some of his supporters are less than thrilled to be a part of this project. Someone who organized a fundraiser in Los Angeles went public with his dismay in an open letter. He claims that guests were misled when asked to sign waivers by the film crew – they “were told it was for a BBC documentary that would not air here in the United States”. This person feels that Clay had himself “covered with a reality TV show deal the entire time, just in case you didn’t win”. Ouch.
Bette Midler has released her tribute to girl groups, called “It’s The Girls!”, and it’s a delight on every level – due in no small part to the genius producing, arranging and overall futzing by Marc Shaiman. The CD also marks a milestone for Bette – it’s her fifth consecutive decade of having a top-10 album. That’s not a bad distinction, especially since she’s second to only one other female performer – Babs. And that brings up one of Bette’s regrets: “I would have liked to have duetted with Barbra Streisand by now. She is adorable. There was talk of a collaboration on her latest album and I wanted her on mine, too, but sadly it didn’t come to anything because we were both buried in our respective projects.” If Babs ever makes her film version of “Gypsy” (which Bette made for TV in 1993), maybe Midler could play a role. I can just hear her belting out, “I’m electrifying – and I ain’t even trying”.
Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Javier in New Jersey: “What has that guy from ‘Smallville’ been up to? Tom Welling. God, he was gorgeous.”
One doesn’t think of Tom Welling often – or even, I daresay, annually. I have enormous fondness for him because the footage of him diving into the water wearing only a “c-ck sock” was first seen on BillyMasters.com. Recently, I saw one of those spreads about former heartthrobs. I remember stopping at one guy who was positively breathtaking, and positively unknown to me. It was Tom Welling, who happens to have become an incredibly handsome man. There is virtually nothing about him that resembles his “Smallville” persona, so one would think he’d get some work. But since we last saw him in “Cheaper By The Dozen 2” (and where, oh where, is Bonnie Hunt??), he’s done two very small film projects. Of course, he’s still big – as the video we have of him demonstrates. It’s just the projects that got small. But you can see what he looks like today on BillyMasters.com.
When anyone is referring to Babs as adorable, we’ve definitely come to the end of yet another column. But again I ask, where is Bonnie Hunt? Once I track her down, you know I’ll tell all on www.BillyMasters.com – the site that can find anyone. If you have someone or something you want me to look into, write to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Tom Welling turns up in a project as big as his talent. So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.