Hey Woody!

I keep hearing about the sex-enhancing power of Yohimbe. I don’t have any trouble getting it up but I’d like better, stiffer, longer-lasting erections. Do you know anything about it?

-Looking for more action

Dear Looking:

Yohimbe (pronounced YO-HIM-BEE) is an herbal supplement made from the bark of the Pausinystalia yohimbe tree. Its active ingredient is the alkaloid yohimbine, which until Viagra, was the only FDA-approved oral medication for impotence.

Only a doctor’s prescription will assure you of actually getting yohimbine, thanks to the frauds in the herbal supplement business. It’s sold as an herbal extract in health food stores, but good luck trying to get a dose that actually contains the active ingredient. Because they’re not regulated, herbal companies aren’t under any obligation to put in the ingredients they list. Studies of products sold in health food stores found most contain little or no yohimbine when tested. So much for wisdom and honesty from the crunchy, birkenstock set. They get away with lies corporate America could never get away with, proving you don’t have to wear a tie and wingtips to screw the public.

If you can actually get yohimbine, odds are that it will help. It’s been proven in clinical studies to increase blood flow to the penis. Its main problem is side effects. Yohimbe can cause elevated blood pressure and heart rate, dizziness, headache, skin flushing, anxiety, panic attacks and hallucinations. It should not be taken, under any circumstances, by anyone with heart disease, kidney disease or anxiety.  Because of its severe side-effects, the FDA classifies yohimbe as an unsafe herb.

If you don’t fall into one of the danger groups, I don’t see any harm in trying it. But again, good luck getting the right dosage. The largest study showed the best results came with 42 mg of yohimbine daily over 2-3 weeks. 

 

Hey Woody!

Why do people on Grindr profiles say stuff like, “if you can’t come up with something better than hello, keep moving.”  I mean, what the hell else can you say when you haven’t met anyone!

 -Stumped

Dear Stumped:

Saying stuff like that is just arrogance personified.  Whenever I run into a profile like that I say to myself, “Oh, f@&k you. I’m not your little monkey who signed on here to entertain you.”

Imagine a great looking guy coming up to you at a bar who says “hello.” You basically throw a drink in his face and say, “Can’t you come up with something better?” And walk away. Ridiculous. Some of the most charming—and hot—guys I’ve ever met online started out by saying “hello.” 

That said, it never hurts to be a little creative. My favorite opening line?  “You owe me .99 cents. Your pics melted the Snickers Bar in my pocket.”