I recently went on a trip to Orlando with some friends. My partner could not go, because he had obligations to work. While there, we went clubbing, and I got totally trashed. Some guys ended up coming back to the hotel with friends, and I decided to lay down, because I was so wasted. The next thing you know, I have a hot guy in my bed, and I didn’t stop it from happening. We had sex, and now that I am back home with my boyfriend, I feel horrible. I am so scared to tell him, in fear that he might leave me. Do I have to?
Living A Lie
Dear Living A Lie,
The name says it all. If you truly love your boyfriend, you are obligated out of that love and respect to tell him what happened. Keeping a secret like that often proves to be more fatal to the relationship, than the infidelity itself. Put yourself in his shoes, would you like for something like that to happen and not know, or find out something that hurtful from someone else later? Also, drinking is not an excuse. You were not so far gone that you could not have stopped it. You yourself said that you “didn’t stop it from happening”, which means that you were a least mildly aware. Fess up, pray the he forgives you, and don’t do it again!
My partner just got a job at the cruise lines, which means he will be gone quite a bit. I must be honest, and say that it bothers me, not just the periods of time apart, but the opportunity to meet someone else. I don’t want to say anything, because I don’t want him to think that I am trying to get in the way of something he really wants to do. How do I express my concerns without seeming selfish?
Dear Justin K.,
Dating someone who works on a cruise line or is a flight attendant, can be challenging. Getting used to periods of time alone, and not allowing your imagination to run wild with all the possibilities of what might be happening in your absence is hard. You must exercise trust. Of course, it might be difficult to endure those periods of time without him, but you must trust him to do the right thing. I always believe in trusting until an individual gives you a reason not to. Also, if possible, you can go on a cruise every now and then, just to make things fun, and show your support for what he is doing. It might ease your mind as well.