Dear Andreus.

I have a HUGE problem.  I am a single dad, and I have two kids.  Recently I have been kind of seeing this great guy.  He is super sweet, and we have gone out quite a few times now.  I would love to get more serious with him, but he has made it abundantly clear that he does not like children.  I know that if I tell him, it is not going to go over well. Is there a way to drop this bomb without it exploding in my face?


Lonnie G.

Dear Lonnie G.,

There is no huge problem, there is only he accepts it or not.  Children are a blessing, and if he truly wants to be with you, he will learn to love your children as well.  This is not something that you can keep to yourself for long, and certainly not something that you should have to.  If he doesn’t like the idea of loving you along with your children, there is your answer – let him go. The bigger picture here though is your children, and whether he is a suitable influence in their lives if he decides to stay.  He could be great for you, but since it’s not just you, consider what his presence will bring to their lives.

Dear Andreus,

I love where I live, and most of my neighbors. There is a cute young gay couple that lives a couple doors down from me, and I see them constantly coming and going and can tell that there is something wrong.  More than once I have heard yelling and screaming, and crashing sounds coming from their apartment. Usually the next day or so, one of them has bruises. The same one always has bruises, which leads me to believe that there is physical abuse.  Is it my right to intervene? I don’t want to cause more problems for them, but I am afraid this guy is going to get seriously injured. How can I go about this, without being directly involved?


Concerned Neighbor

Dear Concerned Neighbor,

This is something that happens a lot.  I have witnessed this same situation with former neighbors as well.  I would not say anything to them directly, but if it is that obvious that someone is being physically abused than you should contact the police.  I would not recommend doing it randomly, but maybe when you begin to hear arguing or the potential for something escalating there. At your request, the police will not reveal your identity.  Don’t feel bad about getting involved. You could very well be saving a life or two.