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How Do I Tell My Hookup to ‘Clean’ Better Next Time?

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Dear Andreus,

I started seeing this super-hot guy, and finally we decided to have sex.  He’s a bottom, which is perfect, because I prefer being on top of things. I love everything about him, his looks, his humor, his intellect, and even his hot ass, except that he was not that clean.  It has kind of turned me off. In the middle of sex, I got this whiff up my nose, and sure enough, there was a good painting down there. How do I tell him this without hurting his feelings? I would like to have sex with him again but am afraid of a repeat.

Sincerely,

Jason M.

Dear Jason,

This is a delicate subject matter, and certainly something not new.  We all hope that when the time comes, it’s clean and smooth sailing. Accidents do happen, after all there’s more that exits there than enters. As best you can, without being too awkward, you might want to ask how he cleanses, because that might be part of the issue.  There are videos, and tools such as shower attachments, which I am sure you’re already aware of. Although we tend to think that everyone should be educated on these things, it’s not always the case. Also, eating habits are important. In my experience, sex is not a good idea after Taco Bell.  If you don’t want to talk about it, then keep some supplies at your house, suggest showering together, and then leave him to the shower by himself telling him that you are going to give him time for preparation. Happy Trails, or at least clear ones!

Dear Andreus,

Recently one of my friends, approached me with something that makes me uncomfortable. He and his partner have evolved to a place where they are comfortable with having an open relationship, and he asked me to have sex with his partner.  Now, don’t get me wrong, his partner is a total stud, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Now I feel awkward hanging out with them, because they keep bringing it up. Getting involved with them in that way, might complicate things. What do I do?

Sincerely

Robbie J.

Dear Robbie,

If this is something that makes you uncomfortable, you must be very clear and direct with your response.  You might have to tell them that you are not interested, and if they continue to encourage this scenario, then you will have no choice but to sever ties.  Personally, I think you are smart for staying out of the line of fire. Where friendships and relationship cross those types of lines, at some point things get messy.  Good for you, for keeping your morals intact!

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