I met someone about a month ago. We have spent time together, and he is truly a nice guy. He has been wanting to pursue a relationship with me, but there are a couple things that turn me off. For one, he is clingy. He texts me excessively throughout the day every day and seems to get sort of an attitude if I don’t answer him right away. He’s also told a few people that we are an item, and I am certainly not there yet. I know that his last relationship was emotionally traumatic, and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. How do I tell him that I am not cool with how he is handling things? It’s too much, too soon.
I am seeing lately, that it is becoming harder and harder for people to be honest with one another. There is only one thing that you can do here, and that is tell him the truth. The longer you allow things to go on, the harder it is to fix them later. Just explain to him that you need space sometimes. The mistake that a lot of people make in dating and relationships, is expecting the other person to express their feelings the same way. Everyone shows love different, and just because they might not do it the same as you, doesn’t diminish its validity. Let him know that you are not ready to be “us” yet, so you would prefer he not tell anyone. If you want to continue seeing him, you must be straightforward. Otherwise, he’ll be even more hurt later.
I travel for work, and sometimes I am gone a couple weeks at a time. I’ve been in a happy relationship for about four years now, and he travels as well. Somehow, we have made it work. My last few trips have been to Chicago, and while there, I have been working on a project with a guy from New York, and without intent we have developed feelings. I am so conflicted right now. Even though nothing intimate has taken place with us, I feel like I am being dishonest when I am back home. I don’t even know where to begin or which way to go. Any ideas?
Sometimes we cannot help when feelings develop, that is just human nature. But don’t forsake something good that you have, for what you believe you can have. So many have gotten let down thinking that the grass was greener. If it is making you feel a certain way, maybe you need to change your assignment. You said that happened between you two, so only you can decide whether to say something to your partner. Just remember that the Universe has a strange way of bringing things full circle. Stay on your own turf, literally.