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I Hooked Up With My Best Friend—Now He Wants More

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Dear Andreus,

I have quite a dilemma.  About a month ago, I went bar-hopping with a close friend.  We both got plastered, and instead of letting him drive, I insisted that he stay at my house.  Before I knew it, in our drunkenness, we were making out and ended up having sex. The sex was great, but the problem is that now he wants more from me, but I am not into him like that.  Under normal circumstances, that would have never happened. I don’t know what to say to him, especially now that he has asked me out on a date. What should I do? I really don’t want to hurt his feelings.

Sincerely,

Jake M.

Dear Jake,

Anytime that line is crossed with a friend, there is always going to be that “what now” scenario.  Sex is one of those things that some people can handle and walk away from, while in others, it sparks something deeply emotional.  Seems like even in an impaired moment, you still got to your friend. Now, you must face the music. The sooner you are forthcoming, the better.  If you are not feeling the same way, you need to say it, but gently. Come together in private and talk it out. Let him know that you want to keep the friendship, but you did not intend to lead him on in any way.  You can reiterate it by also letting him know that the friendship is more important to you, than possibly engaging in a relationship that may not last. Best of luck!

Dear Andreus,

My girlfriend and I have decided for her to move in with me. I am all for it, except her bringing her furniture. I have never been a girly girl, so my condo is very modern, with a bit of a masculine touch.  All her furniture is very vintage and a bit too dainty for my taste. She doesn’t want to part with everything and is planning to bring it all into my space.  I don’t want any of it honestly, and I know that it is unfair for me to tell her she can’t. I don’t know what to do, because I don’t want to lose control of my space.  I already feel trapped. Help me please!

Sincerely,

Geraldine R.

Dear Geraldine,

In all fairness, if the two of you are going to be sharing space, you are going to have to integrate your things.  Before she moves, you two must talk and decide on balancing things out. So ultimately, there is going to be a fusion of vintage and modern, and it can be tastefully done.  Maybe if you remove some things and let her replace the space with some of her things, it will not be so bad. Both of you can put some things in storage and allow the space to represent both of your personalities.  In the end, it’s about making her feel as if the space is now just as much hers as it is yours.

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