Dear Andreus,

I have one brother and we are both gay. He has been in a horrible relationship for just about two years now. I am not sure what kind of hold his boyfriend has on him, but it is a violent situation.  I don’t know how many times I have seen my brother with black eyes and busted lips. I have threatened to call the police, and he tells me to stay out of it. It hurts so bad to see my brother being abused, and I am so fearful for him. This guy is a monster.  Why can’t he see that this is not right?

Sincerely,

Roderick V.



 

Dear Roderick,

I am very sorry to hear that your brother is in an abusive relationship. Believe it or not, this happens all too often. The unfortunate thing is that people are usually unlikely to change their situation until they themselves become disgusted with it. You can talk until you’re blue in the face, but that person must be ready to change their situation. If you have already expressed your concern, you can only continue to be supportive, try to get him some help, and pray that he leaves before it gets any worse than it already is.  

Dear Andreus,

My fiancé and I live together as of two months ago now. His mother has a key to our place, since he was living there alone before. She comes by every so often and cooks and cleans, but she also moves things around and I am sure has seen a bit more of our belongings than what I am comfortable with. She is his world, but I feel like she should no longer have access to our place.  How do I relay this to him without upsetting either of them?

Sincerely,

Jacob P.

Dear Jacob,

Whoa!! This is an area that you must tread very carefully. Clearly, he and his mother are very close if she is coming over to cook and clean.  If this is something that you feel very strongly about, you must approach it delicately. Instead of telling him that you don’t think that she should have keys or access anymore, maybe you can offer to do the things that she is doing.  Then maybe suggest for the sake of privacy only the two of you having keys, and both visiting her frequently so that no one is left out. You might score extra points with them both, but you certainly don’t want to get in between a man and his momma!