Dear Andreus,

My partner and I have been going strong for 5 years now. We met during some business ventures and have both been very successful and financially comfortable.  Side by side we have built quite a bit, but kept our companies separate. My company is now going under, and things are beyond my control. I am terrified to share this with him, fearing that it might be the demise of our relationship. I also don’t want to have to rely on him.  I just want to figure things out without him knowing. There is a part of me that feels like I am keeping too great a secret though. What do I do?

Sincerely,

Freddie P.

Dear Freddie,

It is hard sometimes to be vulnerable. However, vulnerability is not weakness.  Being able to show your vulnerability takes a lot of guts and shows real strength.  If you have a true relationship that is based on more than your finances, then you have nothing to worry about.  Anyone who really loves you will be by your side no matter what. The best thing to do is to get everything out in the open. You will not be able to focus on making plans or moving ahead if you are clouded by doubts or burdened with holding a great secret.  Tell him, and if he leaves, then it was not meant to be. People show their true colors in the worst of times. Best of luck in your future endeavors! 

Dear Andreus,

It was a rough past year. I lost my job, and my finances were very tight. My boyfriend bought me all these amazing things during the holidays, and I feel so bad that I was not able to get him anything. He keeps telling me that it is okay, but I feel like I should have been able to do something. I am not used to feeling so helpless or useless, and I don’t want him to feel like I am just taking a free ride. Have any suggestions?

Sincerely,

Carlin S.

Dear Carlin,

I think that we often forget the real reason for the holidays. The world has turned the holiday season into a huge marketing campaign, which drives us to spend lots of money, showing people that we care, and sometimes just to impress. I am sure that your boyfriend understands that you have had a difficult time. I know that it is hard when you want to do more, but the best thing that you can do is concentrate on being a loving and attentive boyfriend.  For anyone, that gift beats anything material. Love wins!