Dear Andreus,

I have a fear of commitment.  For this reason, I feel like I have missed the boat a few times or lost out on the potential of having a great relationship.  The couple of times that I have been in a relationship, I was deeply emotionally hurt after the breakup, and I think that might be keeping me from having another relationship.  Is there any way to move beyond this fear? I want to love and to be loved.

Sincerely,

Reginald Z.

Dear Reginald,

Love is a scary thing sometimes, especially if you’ve been hurt before.  The reality is that we can never fault the new person for any hurt that the last person caused.  Every attempt is going be scary, but you never know what can come of it if you don’t try. Unfortunately, love is not perfect, and even if you find Mr. Right, there is going to be heartache sometimes.  Go for it, don’t hold yourself back. The only way to find love, is to open yourself to it. It’s not supposed to be easy, but it is worth it!  

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Dear Andreus,

I have been in a relationship with a great guy for nearly a year now.  For the most part, we both have been very happy, and things have been going great.  The issue is that from time to time we have disagreements, and we have different ways of finding resolution which often leads to misunderstandings.  Now after much time, it seems that we are at a crossroads. I think that he wants to give up, but I am not ready to throw in the towel. There has got to be a way to fix this.  Any suggestions?

Sincerely,

Terry L.

Dear Terry,

Every relationship is going to have its problems.  You must choose your battles. Some things you must learn to live with, while other things must be addressed.  Communication is the most important thing to a healthy and functional relationship. Also, the way that you communicate is important.  It must always be respectful, and both should always try to be aware of and sensitive to each other’s feelings. You must find a middle ground and be certain that both of you want things to work out.  People show love differently and handle situations differently. That doesn’t mean that either person is wrong or right, just different. Sit, talk calmly and work it out.